An incorrigible romantic

A silent Good-Bye

2011-12-02T04:01:00.001-08:00

I walked off.
I walked away.
Walked by without glancing your way.
The excruciating pain,
the endless tears,
the clotting gore from the cuts get smeared.
I know if i had recollected happy memories;
I would have stayed back.
So i kissed you last time when i said these won't end.
So i hugged you the last when i said there are more to come.
So i pierced my heart and stopped it's beating.
Swore never to ever love anyone besides you.
To never commit and bind;
I throw your way a silent goodbye!

the wounded soul

2011-12-02T04:00:00.002-08:00

For ephemeral moment i stopped,

to look back in those eyes,

was so intense a urge.

But he was not waiting there.

Crazy heart had that,

reeling glances desire.

Again a pain resurrected,

and he left me a gift of wound,

without my need to ask

Dying memories

2011-12-02T04:00:00.000-08:00

I capture those glances of your in my heart.
The steady rhythm of your words as they call;
As they call my name and address me as yours.
Through the towering feelings,
as of residing on cloud nine.
I wish that your happiness never subsides.
As the clock ticks and does its round,
the moments bygone slips through palms.
Floats in air like ashes of charred logs.
Fleeing away like detached and dry leaves.
Rustling and revolting the natures sound.
Clash through the ticking hours,
it happened with me.
A touch of heaven that i perceived.
I have lost all with the tragedy.
I am done with the past.
And all that i am left with,
are new beginnings to create.
I have let past go like sand caught in hand,
though it was not as i had planned.
But all i am left with are broken thoughts.
No links and bends,
just fractal i glimpse in broken chords.
Yes i am sans memory.
And have forgotten with whom i was,
and who called my name,
and told me that i belonged with them

The red umbrella

2011-12-02T03:58:00.001-08:00

From morning till night i had the thought of you in my mind.
I left the doors of my feelings open to let reach you.
Staring outside the window from my workplace i saw,
the air was moist as the rain splashed about in happiness.
I waited for the evening and ringed the bell of your door,
had a surprise in my hands,
which not before you to anyone could be told.
The red umbrella under which i longed your company too,
was left melancholic as the door was not opened.
I peeked through the windows and thought to sneak in to,
But you were not interested and i was afraid of the truth.
I left my bicycle so you would know,
that i waited whole night just if you would go.
Go with me to where i had surprises for you,
and open the bag that had a secret to be told.
The night passed and the damp soil said to me,
"walk along now and try once again this evening!"
I left that place again to come back,
to have you right beside me here.
Here under my red umbrella all glad

That red eyed man

2011-12-02T02:10:00.000-08:00

In black dress I was waiting for him.. With a slight smile on face n connected by text sms..
At last he reached.. Phew.. My heart was literally hopping.. a white safari came near by me..
Agghhrr..I was nervous..I sat in the car.. Cudn't dare to look in his eyes...
But he.. So chill.. Felt like he's not meeting me for d first time.. Ahh.. he carries a weird attitute.. 'I don't give a damn' kinda..
Wearing a superman t-shirt n red puma shoes..Was chewing continuously..
Though for a long time he made me comfortable.. I used to talk to him.. Day long.. I know he's a busy man, works with an odd tymins so his individuality was respected.. not speaking much n carrying a smile..I was just sitting in car..surrounded by the music of coke studio.. hehe like an ordinary normal gal weaving dreams..
Yeah.. I accept it was love at first sight.. he was not the man I wanted in my life.. Even he was completely an opposite personality.. but as they say ''Love is always with the wrong person.. N if the person is right.. Time is wrong'' Lolzz
Doh..!!
After a short drive.. We stopped at a tea stall n lowerin the back seat he made himself comfortable..Wow! Every moment was beautiful.. He took out his weed.. N smoked.. Chewing.. And ordered to hot lemon tea n me humming a song.. He didn't know that I don't like lemon tea.. lolz

Ummm.. I managed to finish it half...He asked me "Where u wanna go ?!?!?" I was speechless.. I just wanted to be with him.. in his world.. Where he can just once look into my eyes n understand that I'm in love with him.. I wanted him to fill the gaps of my finger with his..I just couldn't....

He's away.. far away from me.. I know I mean nothing to him.. It was just a meet.. a casual tea meet.. I miss him.. I want to express my feeling that I love him.. but I wud neva do that..

I wish somehow..just for once he cud feel the pinch of falling in one sided love..
the pain wen I think of him..the feeling of not having him in life..the emptiness that no one can eva fill.. the wish to see him once.. the thirst to touch his lips.. the desire to look deep in his eyes.. to hug him once n listen to his heartbeats..N just for once he saying me.. "I'm always there n I love you too'.. I miss his texts.. the way he used to call my name.. the way he used to be connected all day long..

He's gone n I'll neva ask him to give those moments to me.. I just wish him to be happy forever.. My love.. my blessings n my smile is always for him..I don't expect anything else from him.. it is that I cudn't understand.. wat made me fall in love with him..the unspoken words on the long drive of white safari.. the taste of lemon tea.. Or his red eyes high with smoke..!

The black

2011-09-08T07:31:00.000-07:00

Life's a game n the game mode for now seems to be preselected n stuck in strategy.
The controls...As always take some getting used to n also some of us are weapons by not much choice. Sekhmet. I've a gut feeling that the battery will die out on me before the final levels. The controls..faulty.. being never completely in these tiny hands B'coz Unfortunately God is both sadistic n a little vindictive!

myself to thyself

2011-09-08T07:25:00.000-07:00

Me to the blog-
I'm just looking for freedom of expression
Not validation

The drama queen in me whispered..

that I'm living in freezing temperature. Sub zero. My heart, beating valiantly. Coaxing n cajoling the blood to reach all the nooks n corners of my frigid existence. My blood though..crawling away..slowly but surely; from my limbs, my face, my body. Shying away from the cold. Settling deep within my being. Helping just the vital organs to keep living. And me in turn to keep breathing. The cold frigid air.

I don't want these icy cold fingers to touch you. Pass on the cold.

If wat she says is true, then, very soon, I will build a fire. In the middle of the dark night.

Thawing away the numbness

The flames will dance in my eyes

Me to myself

It's abt. YOU...Yup YOU

2011-09-08T07:17:00.000-07:00

Is it relevant..wat all is going around ???
Well..both approving n disapproving thouts are there, regarding this query in my mind.

Wat is this???
Is this the shuffling of thoughts between Mind n Soul or wat I actually want to see is dominating on me???
Wateva it may be, I guess it can assist me to get divest of this vagueness.

According to my practical acquaintance, our Mind reflects the same picture wat eva we really want to see,even after knowing whether the circumstances are flattering or not.
As far as the state of affairs is concerned, individual is responsible of his own for the situations encountered in life...it depends how we take things around us.
The condition which is favorable for me can be absolutely unpleasant for the other person. Only thing which is responsible is the "ATTITUDE."

On one hand a negative thought can wreck the verve thoroughly whereas on the other hand positive attitude can cram the existence with elation n contentment.
Situations encountered in our day to day life - to shape them according to our needs and priorities is absolutely not in our hands. These are the "Karmas" which we've to perform.
Now it depends upon us, in which way we want to accept them.

It depends upon us, whether we want to "blubber" or be "exultant" thruout our life !

Let it be "Untitled"

2011-09-03T00:39:00.000-07:00

Twist and turns..
knocks and breaks..
excess of airs..
too dark or too bright..

it's been ages I woke up..
coz it's been ages I slumbered..

come someday..
sleep next to me..

The Nocturnal

2011-09-03T00:32:00.000-07:00

He opened his eyes... it was all dark.
Don't know what the time would be...2 am, or probably it was close to dawn.

He concentrated...
there was pitter patter of water...the tap in the bathroom needs a change.
the fan made heavy whirring sounds, like telling it is working from long.
And the intermittent ribbit of rain frogs from the lawn.

Then he heard a familiar sound... she shifted close to him, and the bed creaked slightly.
He could smell the fragrance of her hair and her breath on his chest made him warm.
The world seemed alright, the world seemed his. He smiled and closed his eyes.

He knew he would sleep well now....

And So CIAO

2011-09-03T00:19:00.000-07:00

It's time to say bye;
You have to leave and i can't let you go!
You get ready and pick your things;
Wallet, kerchief, and then the car keys;
and i know, it's time.
I refuse to get up from the bed
or to look at you;
You smile; it's usual and you know it all.
You pull me up, close to you and hold me tight.
I am shorter than you, my head rests on your chest,
I can hear the tic toc of your heart.
I tune mine according to you
and forget about the departure for a while.
You shift a little and that wakes me out of my trance.
I still continue to cling, like i will keep some of you here,
with me, and cherish it while you will be gone.
You bend down a little and hold me by my waist;
i know what it calls for.
I raise my feet a little and reach your lips.
It's sweet;
It's sultry;
It's promising;
It never ends;
It plays in my head, on the loop;
Until our next "Hello"

~ Mine And Yours ~

2011-09-03T00:07:00.000-07:00

Love enthralls me!

Love bores you!

Love makes me fly,

like a bird in the blue sky!

Love makes you feel tied,

like an ostrich that cant even glide!

Love is a musical symphony for my ears!

and a whimsical whine for yours!

I believe Love never fails!

You think Love is for losers!

I look at Love and like it,

like a Vinci or Picasso!

You look at Love and frown,

as if it's an inane modern art!

Love completes everything for me!

Love means nothing to you!

I love you!

You don't even love Love!!

Sauntering in a Paradox

2011-09-02T23:59:00.000-07:00

A materpiece from Pablo Neruda

I do not love you except because I love you;

I go from loving to not loving you,

From waiting to not waiting for you

My heart moves from cold to fire.

I love you only because it's you the one I love;

I hate you deeply, and hating you

Bend to you, and the measure of my changing love for you

Is that I do not see you but love you blindly.

Maybe January light will consume

My heart with its cruel Ray,

stealing my key to true calm.

In this part of the story I am the one who

Dies, the only one, and I will die of love because I love you,

Because I love you, Love, in fire and blood.

will you find me through the smoke ???

2011-09-02T23:55:00.001-07:00

I want to smile but I can't coz you are crying.
Tell me what can I do to make the things alright.
There is this, just this one life, you can't go on living in one dark night. I never thought that you will be too weak that after one stumble you can't live.

the clear picture

2011-09-02T23:50:00.000-07:00

Sometimes not even many cigarettes are enough

Your face is still visible through the smoke!

the unsaid

2011-09-02T23:46:00.000-07:00

Coz every time we make out..my soul is bruised!

Coz wat I'm used to is making love n not this over n out..

Coz the make out leaves me drained, where the making love kept me fulfilled!!!

And coz it tells me, it's the only reason u're here

!!!! and it's the only reason you will be somewhere else soon..

Excuse me !

2011-09-02T23:18:00.000-07:00

Be it abt. the memory of a few stray strands of hair..blissfully blowing across my face...
or something as mundane as watching a raindrop slowwwwlllyyyy snake it's way down a window pane...
The reflection of the moon in a stagnant inky black puddle...or the flaming cackle of gulmohar blossoms on a blisteringly sunny afternoon...
Watching the velvetty starry night sky..perched precariously on my terrace wall...which sometimes makes me wanna dangle off the crescent moon..."mid-sky, mid-life, mid-naught..."
Or just grab a palmful of stars n splatter them into the luscious black smiling hair...

Ya I know...I'm hopeless...

Now excuse me..while I kiss the sky...